


What's a Monster

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Injury, Language, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 11:05:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17058629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dean and Emma.  The whole hunting community knew they were sweethearts.  She was Dean’s girl.  But that changes when Dean learns something about Emma she prayed he would never learn.





	1. Chapter 1

She had been so careful.  She had made sure she never hurt anyone, made sure she was always in check.  That was how she led this life.  On the outside, she was Emma Smith.  A five foot six brunette with green eyes.  She was relatively pretty and she was happy with it.  Those who happened across her path rarely noticed her, which was good, because she was a hunter.

 

One of the best really, at least that was the word around the hunting community.  So it was no shock when word got out that Emma teamed up with the Winchesters.  One hunt, that was all it took and the trio was inseparable. 

 

Emma never meant to stay with the Winchesters, to get attached.  She meant them to be back up on a hunt for some monster.  It’s ironic, that they met on a monster hunt, you’ll understand why in a moment.  Emma planned to leave that night, but she enjoyed being with them.  They made her feel like family, something Emma never had.

 

Something else she never had before was a boyfriend, for reasons you will soon understand.  It was why she was so scared at first, but after a couple months hunting with the Winchesters, there was no denying it.  She had fallen in love with Dean.

 

Once again, no one in the community was surprised.  They quickly came to know her as the Winchester girl.  “Did you hear, the Winchesters and their girl took out four Wendigos?”  It would have bothered her, but the phrase was always spoken with respect.  But it was not going to anymore, she had a feeling.

 

Emma had been so careful to keep it a secret.  It wasn’t for some grand scheme or trick.  She just wanted to be normal, she hated what she was.  Sure, she had an impeccable sense of smell, eyesight was the best, agility, grace, endurance, top marks.  But it didn’t change what she was, or that look in the boys eyes of shock and disgust, or in Dean’s eyes, anger and heartbreak. 

 

The hunt went south in the worst way.  Two demons go the jump on them.  Sam was pinned, Dean was beat up behind her.  And the cherry on top, they called a hell hound.

 

That was the tipping of the scale.  The hound.  She couldn’t see it like this, not in this form.  Emma knew what she had to do, but she was scared.  If they knew…

 

The sounds of the hound’s claws against the cement made the decision solidify in her mind.  She turned back to Dean. 

 

He saw the tears fall down her face and his heart stopped.  He loved Emma, he couldn’t lose her, but the look she was giving him said it all.  _I’m sorry, goodbye._

 

She shut her eyes and turned back, focusing, making her body to her bidding.  Making it do something it hadn’t done in over two years.  She swore she would never do it again, but if it meant saving Sam and Dean, then it was worth it.

 

She felt her skin get lose and start to peel away as she took a couple steps forward before bending at the knees and lunging.

 

Her human form melted away into a pile of skin, and in its place stood a large grey wolf. Now she could see it, the hound.

 

It took off for Dean, but a couple steps away from him, Emma managed to snag it by the throat and yank it back as it let out a yelp.

 

All her focus was on the hound as they barreled through walls and doors until they were outside.  Emma struggled to keep up, she was hurt, bad.  But she had to do this.  She had to protect Sam and Dean. 

 

It was a blur after that.  She let her natural instincts take over, letting her win the dog fight from hell, but she was so badly hurt.  She tried to change back, back to the girl she wanted to be, but she was too weak. 

 

She managed to hobble back to the Impala, arriving just in time for her body to give out.  She let out a high whine as she heard movement. 

 

Her feet and paws wouldn’t stay under her.  It didn’t matter though, cause the one time she got close, a hard boot met her side.

 

She yelped and looked up to see Dean.  His eyes were enraged, a gun pointed at her head.  His eyes were wide, hands shaking as he spoke. 

 

“What did you do to Emma?” 

 

Emma couldn’t speak, she was a wolf (for now), so she let out another whine, which was met with another kick to the stomach. 

 

“You shifter piece of shit!  Where’s Emma?!”  He screamed. 

 

Emma looked up and realized, she was going to die…by the man she loved. 

 

She closed her eyes and lay her head down, making no more sound.  This was why she stayed alone, cause anyone who got close, or found out…they called her monster, like she killed their friend and took their place. 

 

There was only ever one person who knew and didn’t instantly hat her, and he was long gone.  He didn’t see her as a monster, just as a girl who was in love with his friend.  She missed Benny. 

 

Emma waited, waited for the gun to go off, for her life to end.  Every cell in her body told her to run, but she was took week. 

 

Sounds began to blur together, something sounding like metal, a click, Sam shouted something, then darkness. 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was furious, and scared, and heartbroken, and furious.  Emma…he pictured that beautiful smile, her laugh, the way she would giggle after he kissed her.  What if-no, he couldn’t think like that.  She wasn’t dead.  But that damn shifter would be when he found it again.  Those demons were coming after them so the boys cleared out quickly.  He would find Emma, then that monster, he knew it. 

 

He dialed the last number he could, getting the word out that a shifter took Emma, she was missing…and if anyone found that freak of nature, it was his kill. 

 

“Dean…”  Sam walked in, his face white and sickly looking.  Four days into the search and no luck yet.  The shifter was gone when they went looking, tracked it to a stream, they lost the trail. 

 

“What Sam?”  He growled before seeing the serious look on his face.  Something was wrong. 

 

“You need to see this.”  Sam set his computer down and showed Dean the paused video.  It was of them walking into the war room.  Sam was ahead as it looked like Dean was saying something to Emma.

 

Not Emma.  The video was paused where the creature’s eyes lit up on camera.  It was the shifter.

 

“Why are you showing me this?!”  He screamed as he got up and went to storm off, but Sam grabbed him. 

 

“Look at the date.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes, letting them land on the screen.  “What’s so…” his voice trailed off as he turned his body, did a double take, blinked, then rubbed his eyes.  That had to be wrong.  It had to. 

 

“Dean…that’s the day we first brought her to the bunker.” 

 

000

 

Dean felt numb.  He sat on the edge of his…their bed, looking down at a picture of him and Emma from a couple months ago.  It was always his favorite, not because it was a great picture, but because it was the day he told Emma he loved her.  And when she told him she loved him.

 

He felt sick.  The woman he loved was a shapeshifter.  A monster.  Something he hunted.  She lied to him, tricked him.

 

That thought made Dean feel even worse.  Not because he fell in love with a shifter, not because she lied, but because she actually didn’t.

 

_Another nightmare, Emma woke up screaming._

_“They were going to kill me, and I didn’t—I didn’t do anything.”_

 

Dean had always thought it was a monster trying to kill her, but now he realized.  It was hunters in her nightmare.  And when she said she didn’t do anything, he assumed it meant she froze…but it was because she was being hunted and she hadn’t hurt anyone. 

 

_“You never talk about your parents, your family.”  Dean said as they laid in bed one morning._

_“Because they were monsters.”_

 

Dean now realized she was being literal. 

 

_“They hurt people, Dean.  Good people.  So I left, and I decided I wouldn’t let any monster hurt anyone again.  So I became a hunter.”_

 

Dean’s body didn’t move, it was frozen in place as the tears dropped from his face and onto the glass from the frame.  That was the real kicker.  She never lied, not really.  Why did she stay?

 

That was the question.  Why did she stay?  Dean searched his memory for days, barely eating, barely sleeping.  He searched for any sign, or clue, that she was using him, that their relationship was some plot or scheme of a bigger plan.  That maybe she pushed the relationship for some end game. 

 

But it wasn’t.  Dean was the one who had pushed it.  Emma told him, so many times…

 

_“You don’t want me, Dean.”_

_“I do.  I want you.  I want us.  Why would you think I wouldn’t want it?”_

_“Because…I’m not god, Dean.  I’m…I’m just not good.”_

 

A sob racked through Dean’s body.  He saw it all again, that night two weeks ago.  He saw Emma’s eyes, how they spoke to him.  _I’m sorry, goodbye._   It was there…her begging him to understand.

 

When she whined, as a dog, her broken paw reaching out to him, her eyes searching his, begging, pleading… _Please, Dean.  It’s me_.

 

And he kicked her. 

 

He saw how the hope left her eyes and she gave into her fate, she gave up to death.  She turned her face away and closed her eyes, ready to die.

 

And he cocked his gun.

 

Dean found himself in the bathroom, expelling what little bit he had in his stomach.  His self-disgust was becoming physical, the disgust of what he did.  What he almost did, because he knew, without a doubt, if those demons hadn’t come…he would have killed her.

 

“We’ll find her.”  Sam’s voice came from behind him.  “We’ll bring her home.

 

Dean didn’t believe his brother’s words.  Emma was a shapeshifter.  She always was.  That meant the girl they hunted with, called family, was a shifter.  It didn’t bother Dean anymore, but what did…

 

“After what I did…she will never come back.”

 

000

 

Two weeks, four days.  Dean was keeping track.  He and Sam had friends who weren’t human.  Garth, Cas, Benny…they got over that stigma of all monsters are evil long ago.  But that night…it reared its ugly head.

 

Dean heard his phone go off and snatched it up quickly, his hopes rising, even though they shouldn’t.

 

“Emma?” 

 

“Sorry.  Nope.”  A familiar friend’s voice drifted through the phone.

 

“James…”

 

“I’m sorry about to make your day, Dean.”  The hunter said proudly.

 

“How’s that?”

 

“I got the shifter who took your girl.”  


	3. Chapter 3

“Dean, we need a plan!”  Sam tried to calm his brother’s mind.  “This is…complicated.  We need to make sure no one else finds out.”

 

“He has Emma!  The plan is we get her out!”  Dean said as he stormed up tot eh door, planning to kick it down, but James was there first. 

 

“Hey.  I tried working her over, but she hasn’t said anything about Emma yet.  Maybe you will have more luck?” 

 

Dean froze, his heart clenched.  He snapped his head to Sam before he pushed through the door.

 

“We’ll take it from here. Danny said he needed help with a case, minding helpin’ out?” 

 

“Sure thing, good luck.  I hope you find Emma.”

 

Dean heard the words exchanged as he moved through the house.  It was smart of Sam to get James away, because if he hurt Emma, he would-

 

“Emma?”  His voice cracked as he felt his stomach clench, trying to keep the bile down.  Emma was in the kitchen, tied to a chair, with silver chains.  Dean could smell her burnt skin from the doorway. 

 

Her clothes were red…not originally so, but stained from so much blood.  There were cuts all over her body, her ankles were black and blue, so were her arms.  Her face, god, Dean almost didn’t recognize her.

 

“E…Emma?”  He called out again, but no response.  His eyes kept travelling over her broken body, spotting more and more damage, like the silver blade through her right shoulder, the bruises from where the hunter hit her, trying to get her to talk. 

 

Her voice echoed in his brain, a terrified sobbing voice.  _“They were going to kill me, Dean.  And I didn’t-I didn’t do anything.”_   And she hadn’t, not a single damn thing. 

 

Dean rushed forward and started pulling on the chains, but they only shifted, burning a new patch of skin.  “Sam!” 

 

“Oh god.”  Sam quickly joined his brother, working to remove the chains, the blades, there was another one in her foot. 

 

“Emma?  Baby, can you hear me?”  Dean begged, cradling her head in his hands.  “P…Please…I’m—I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I…”  He let the tears flow as Sam pulled the last restraint free.

 

Her body fell forward into Dean’s arms by force of gravity alone.  He moved quickly to lift her up into his arms and moved her to the couch.

 

It had taken three hours to stitch her up.  She never moved once.  It got so bad that Dean was constantly feeling for a pulse, to ensure she wasn’t dead.  After they got her cleaned up, they took her back to the bunker, laying her in Dean’s bed.

 

“What are you going to say to her?”

 

“I don’t know, Sam.” 

 

It was the truth.  He had no idea.  What could he say?  He turned into the thing of nightmares that night, and it was his fault James did that to her.  Once they made the calls, there was no taking them back, not without revealing the truth, which would have been more dangerous for her.  They just hoped they would have found her first…but they hadn’t, they failed.  He failed.  Sam made the calls, making up the story of how they got the shifter to talk before they killed it, how Emma miraculously was still alive...

 

Emma was unconscious for two days before she even stirred.  Dean had spent those days trying to find the words, words to say how he felt.  Sorry wasn’t enough.  Regret, guilt, they were closer but didn’t quite work.  He even wrote it all down, a speech he had actually practiced.  But when he faced her, something else came out.

 

000

 

Emma woke, her body was in pain, so much pain.  Agonizing, but doable.  It took her mind a moment to catch up.  James.  James had found her.  Glimpses of her torture flashed before her eyes, but she pushed it away when she took in a familiar scent.

 

Dean.

 

She whimpered when she sat up.  It took a few seconds.  Bunker.  She was in the bunker.  But how?  Why?

 

 _“You shifter piece of shit!  Where’s Emma?”_   Dean’s voice rang in her ears, that look of rage, pure and burning.  He wanted her dead.

 

She had to leave.  She didn’t know why they brought her here, but she couldn’t stay.  She wanted to, with every fiber of her being…but she couldn’t.  She couldn’t bear to see that look of utter disgust on their faces, not again. 

 

She made it to the hallway, the last one before the war room when she heard Sam’s voice call out to her.  She froze.  There was only one option. 

 

“Emma!”  Sam called out when he saw her bolt.  “Dean!”

 

Emma made it!  She could see the stairs, the door, the Dean.  Dean?

 

Emma slid to a stop as her eyes connected with Dean’s.  Terror.  That was the look, terror.  On both their faces.

 

Dean’s speech, remember form earlier?  Emma would read it later, but for now it was forgotten as Dean spoke. 

 

“Emma…I love you.”  He gulped.

 

“You don’t.”  She snapped back, making Dean flinch.  “I’m a shifter.”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“You do.”

 

“I don’t.  Em…I love you.”  Dean moved slowly, afraid if he moved too quickly she would spook and run off.  He slowly reached out a hand to her, but she just backed away.  He saw that look on her face, she was going to flee.  She was scared, and why wouldn’t she be. 

 

He raised his hands up and out, a sign of peace.  “Please, baby…” 

 

Emma looked in Dean’s eyes, and she could see it.  That look of desperation, that flicker of hope, the love.  “I’m…I’m a monster.”  She said.  She no longer shouted, her voice was small and broken.

 

“You are no monster.  You are good, and kind, and you didn’t deserve anything that happened to you.  Not James, not…not me.” 

 

Tears fell down her eyes as she swayed, her own pain becoming too much to bear.  “I did…I’m bad…I’m bad…”  She sobbed and fell to the floor, but Dean was there to wrap his arms around her.  She sobbed into his chest, clutching his shirt as he felt it dampen from her tears. 

 

“You’re not bad.  Baby, you’re not bad.”  He pulled her close and just held her, held her while she cried it out.  All the pain and fear and agony, leaving her body as a stream of tears that were soaking his shirt.  “I love you…and I’m going to show you, you aren’t bad.” 

 

000

 

Emma stayed at the bunker, but it wasn’t just going back to normal.  She was hesitant around the boys.  They understood why, and they were patient.  It took time before Emma was able to smile again, before she was willing to sleep in the same room as Dean, as she had before.

 

It was a night of nightmares that finally drove her to him.  She woke, a silent scream falling from her lips as the time she was tortured by James came back.  She shook as she tried to reign herself in, and when she couldn’t, she shuffled down the hall from the spare room to Dean’s.  He was up, he still hadn’t been sleeping.  But that night changed it, when she crawled into bed and curled into his chest, they both slept peacefully that night.

 

But things still took time.  Emma and Dean’s relationship was fractured, and it took time for them to repair it, for Dean to repair it.  It took a few dates, a couple movie nights, a dinner in, and finally an open conversation of feelings and fears and truths…but they were finally back.  Emma was finally back. It took six months, but when Emma finally threw her head back and laughed at one of Dean’s jokes as they laid in bed one morning, he finally knew, he had his Emma back.  And he didn’t care if she was a shifter, he loved her.  And he wouldn’t lose her again. 


End file.
